Asian Movie Month Movie 1: The Five Deadly Venoms

Asian Movie Month on PMT kicked off on Saturday (the 30th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death)  with my article on G-Fan magazine.  Besides the anniversary of Lee’s death (who was actually born in the U.S. and moved to Hong Kong, then back to the U.S.), Guillermo del Toro’s magnificent tribute to Asian cinema Pacific Rim was also released this past weekend.  The excitement for next year’s Godzilla is building, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the death of Black Belt Jones himself, Jim Kelly (tho not an Asian actor, he did a lot to bring Asian films and kung fu to America and popularize it), who died on June 29th.
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The Five Deadly Venoms is one of my favorite kung fu movies of all time.  Originally released in 1978 (before kung fu action scenes got so over the top) the actual fights are not as engaging as the plot, which is unusual for a ’70s Hong Kong kung fu actioner.  Not that the fights are bad or boring, just fairly average (except for the final one, which features characters who can stand on walls engaging in the fight).
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The story is about a dying kung fu master who took on 5 students and taught each of them a different style of kung fu- the centipede, snake, scorpion, lizard, and toad styles.  Each style has it’s own special abilities (the toad’s skin is near invunerable and he’s super strong; the centipede is super fast; the lizard can walk on walls, etc.) and the teacher is afraid that his students might use their skills for evil.  He takes on one last student Yang Tieh (Sheng Chiang) and trains him a little of each style, then sends him to find the five former students and determine if they are using their skills for evil, and if so kill them.  He warns Yang that his skills are no match for any of the other five, however if he were to team up with one of them, together they could defeat the other four.  To make things even more complicated, they all wore masks while they were being trained, and changed their names after they left the school, so their identities are a mystery.
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Sheng discovers that several of the five are indeed quite evil, and as he tries to determine who is who and if any of them can be trusted, he finds that the city itself is filled with corruption where money buys most any authority figure and murder is pretty common place.

The mystery is not a difficult one (tho three of the five are revealed pretty quickly, the Scorpion and the Lizard are not revealed until the end; it’s pretty easy to figure out who they are before then), but the story is still engaging.  It also embroils you in a culture that most of us haven’t experienced (the corruption is so blatant, and average people treated so harshly by the police and judge, it’s a culture shock.  At one point a family is murdered, and the judge gives the police 10 days to catch the killer, or they will be whipped every day after that).  Besides the special kung fu styles, the evil members of the Poison Clan (which is what they call themselves) also have several horrific ways of killing people without leaving a trace (such as sliding a hook into their mouth then slicing up the inside of their throat so they drown to death in their own blood).  1970’s Hong Kong action movies were all pretty violent, and this one has quite a few gruesome scenes in it.  Besides the above mentioned hook death, another person has a needle inserted in his nose and jabbed into his brain, several characters have their stomach’s burst by blows, and a couple of characters are tortured (one with an iron maiden).
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Writer/ director Cheh Chang actually made several movies around the same time using the main actors from The Five Deadly Venoms (such as Crippled Avengers, Invincible Shaolin, and later on The Sword Stained With Royal Blood), and was a pretty famous kung fu director for awhile (tho he hasn’t made any movies since the early ’90s).
In front of the camera, Philip Kwok (the Lizard) made it into a few Hollywood films (such as the ’90s incarnation of James Bond’s Tomorrow Never Dies) and was in John Woo’s Hard Boiled along with Meng Lo (the Toad).  Lo is the only actor from Five Deadly Venoms still working today (he recently appeared in Ip Man 2: Legend of the Grandmaster).

One of the above mentioned movies that Cheh Chang made with a lot of the same actors from Five Deadly Venoms (called Crippled Avengers) was alternately released with the name The Return of the Five Deadly Venoms, but it has nothing to do with the original (all the actors play different characters), other than also being pretty damn good and worth a watch.  Produced by the prolific Shaw Brothers, who provided loads of movies for the kung fu theatre type of matinee t.v. shows in the ’70s.
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Maniac remake

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I won’t start off with the usual lamenting about the remake plague, because we pretty much all feel the same about them being unnecessary at best and crapass for the most part (barring a very few exceptions); suffice it to say that I would not have bothered seeing this if it weren’t free, but I’m glad I did. It was pretty damn good. A friend asked me “Was it as gory, sleazy, and misogynistic as the original?”. The answer is yes, no, and yes. It’s just as gory and misogynistic (possibly even more so) than the original, but not near as sleazy. I think they knew they could not out sleaze Bill Lustig, and went for arty instead. For those of you groaning when they read that last line- I would have too if I hadn’t seen it, but somehow it works (and it’s not overly arty, to a goofy degree. just enough to make it a little offbeat). There’s no way Frodo could be as creepy, imposing, or dangerous seeming as Joe Spinell (RIP). Let’s get that out there right now. They knew that, and went with a different angle. It works. For one thing, the whole film (other than the last few minutes) is from a first person point of view- you see everything Frank (the killer) sees, and the only time you see him is when he sees himself in a reflective surface. This was a really cool way to experience his insanity (and he is quite insane- you get into his head a lot more than in the original). I’ve seen other movies do this for small parts of them, but never for the whole thing.

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The plot follows the basic plot of the original- a very disturbed loner was abused by his prostitute Mommy (played by America Olivio of the “Friday the 13th” remake), and is compelled to murder young ladies, scalp them, and bring the scalps home and attach them to mannequins, which he talks to and interacts with as if they are the real people. He is befriended by a photographer (who likes to photograph mannequins in this one) and developes an attachment to her- can he overcome his need to kill for her, and live a normal life?

maniac
There are not many nudge nudge wink wink nods to the original (which is fine by me- tho there is one to Silence of the Lambs that made everyone in the screening room giggle), and the overall feel is less sleazy and gritty- it actually feels much more like American Psycho in tone than the original Maniac (including some small moments of black comedy). The actress who plays Anna, the photographer/ love interest is adequate, but not near as charismatic as Caroline Munroe in the original. The director previously made P2, which I saw but don’t really remember much, so it must not have been extra good or horribly bad. It was produced by Alexandre Aja, who has also never really impressed me that much with any of his movies (not even the much beloved High Tension), but I enjoyed this. It can exist alongside the original as an alternate dimension version of the same story and doesn’t piss on it’s legacy or embarrass anyone involved.
One last thing I’d like to comment on about it is how much I liked the score- it’s a totally retro synth score that recalls the original and sets the mood perfectly. It was done by someone simply named ‘Rob’.
After the screening I saw RUE MORGUE magazine editor-in-chief Dave Alexander leaving the screening room and asked him what he thought, and he said he really enjoyed it as well, and that RUE MORGUE would be doing a big piece on it in a future issue, so we can probably look forward to more coverage than the original got.

 

The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh

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I need to preface this review by mentioning that the circumstances under which I watched this film were not optimal.  It is a very thoughtful film, almost entirely comprised of mood and atmosphere, and I saw it in a screening room with a very large man in front of me where I had to lean to the side during the entire running time, and his ear still covered the left side of the screen.  It was a bit distracting, and I think it caused me to miss some things that you need to notice to fully comprehend the film.  This is a film that can only be enhanced by repeat viewings (which are probably necessary to get it all anyway), so I’ll probably watch it again when it comes out on dvd.

The film, as I said, is full of mood and atmosphere, and is about loneliness, regret, and death.  It doesn’t hand feed or spell anything out to the audience, and lets you draw your own conclusions.  Those who don’t appreciate thoughtful, slow moving mood pieces will definitely not like this very much.

It’s about an antiques dealer who’s estranged mother has passed away and left her estate to him.  He comes to stay the night in the house, and discovers that her level of religious fervor (which had contributed to his estrangement and caused some anxiety issues in his life) had reached fever pitch, and she had fallen in with a cultish group.  Most of the movie is him exploring the house and discovering things related to this group and his mother’s obsession with them, as well as her insistance on him accepting salvation.  Vanessa Redgrave voices his mother (in voiceover- she’s never really shown), and is the main voice we hear throughout the film.
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As the night goes on, strange things begin happening- he starts seeing things, having bad dreams, and feels a presence.  He’s not sure of it’s in his head, or real.  He finds a secret room and angel statues everywhere.  He begins to think his mother might be reaching out to him from beyond the grave, trying to tell him something.  A neighbor stops by to warn him that there is ‘an animal’ that has started coming out of the woods at night that is hurt, and may be dangerous.  His anxiety attacks start getting worse, and he begins to feel paranoid and stalked by the creature the neighbor warned him about.

The film is beautifully shot, and evokes strong feelings of loneliness as well as creepiness.  Not a lot happens throughout most of it (with the exception of a stretch in the middle with the above mentioned ‘animal’), and no answers are definitively provided.  I’m not totally sure how much I liked it, and will need to watch it again.  It made me think of two other movies to some extent- the Woman In Black (2012), which I liked a lot, and Antichrist (2009), which I did not like much at all.  At any rate, the skill in the direction (by RUE MORGUE magazine founder Rodrigo Gudiño), acting, and cinematography cannot be denied, and the haunting atmosphere and sorrowful mood it evokes is very well done.  It’s not like most other horror movies (and is not for everyone) but if you’re into filmmakers like Brad Anderson (Session 9, The Machinist) you’ll probably eat this up.

The Lords of Salem

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Before watching The Lords of Salem, I had seen 5 Rob Zombie movies.  One was good, one was ok, and 3 were dopey messes filled with goofy plots and terrible dialogue- you would think Zombie could craft a great horror movie, since he seems to know so much about the genre and be into so many awesome movies, but instead it made him churn out a bunch of soulless big budget movies in which he steals elements (and even whole scenes) from other, better movies and haphazardly patches them together in his, whether they fit or not.  You can always tell what classic movie made him say “That’s cool- I’m going to put that in my movie, but make it more like a rock video!” about.  His characters were mostly over the top cartoon caricatures (but not really fun or entertaining ones like in movies such as Tales From the Crypt- Demon Knight or The Toxic Avenger or Street Trash– Zombie’s over the top cartoon caricatures were goofy and tedious and eye rollingly one dimensional.  Until he tried to install a little pathos, which made it even more ridiculous (with the exception of Annie from the Halloween movies, maybe)).

Kurt Cobain back from the dead and in a black metal band

Kurt Cobain back from the dead and in a black metal band

So how does The Lords of Salem stack up?  I had high hopes after hearing that this is a more reserved Zombie, that he was trying to be more atmospheric, more like Ken Russell or Alejandro Jodorowsky, which could have turned out disastrous, but actually is not bad at all.  It’s true that this is a bit more of a reserved Rob Zombie in a lot of ways (he still can’t help but indulge in some goofy shit, but I guess that’s just him, and at least it’s kept to a minimum here).  When it started off with a bunch of witches terribly overacting and quoting MERCYFUL FATE lyrics, I was convinced that this was going to be another ridiculously silly and terrible Zombie goofathon.  But then something happened: some actually realistic and likeable characters were introduced, and partook in some realistic scenes that didn’t look like something a hyperactive teenager on pixie sticks would throw together after watching a bunch of ’70s horror movies (tho he does still definitely wear his influences on his sleeve- the whole thing has a strong feel of Kubrick’s The Shining throughout (tho since he ripped off an entire scene from it in The Devil’s Rejects almost shot-for-shot, this is still an improvement), as well as Rosemary’s Baby, the above mentioned Russell and Jodorowsky, and of course the cunting The Exorcist).
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The story: a coven of witches in 1600s Salem are up to no good, meeting in the woods, chanting and getting naked and overacting and doing evil witchy type stuff, when Nathaniel Hawthorn decides to put a stop to it (perhaps after he saw them all naked- the youngest one is probably 500 years old, and yes, they all get naked).  Cue the Salem Witch Burnings.
In modern times, we are introduced to Heidi La Rock (Sheri Moon Zombie, who was a fairly limited actress who Zombie tried to shoehorn into every movie he’s done, with crappy results; however she does very well here- I don’t know if her acting has improved or the role just suits her better), a DJ on a Howard Stern-esque radio show (along with fellow DJ’s Herman (Ken Foree) and Herman (Rob Zombie lookalike Jeff Daniel Phillips)). She lives in an old apartment building in Salem run by a sweet, motherly older woman (I’m sure most any horror fan can tell you where this is headed).  The radio show has guests on (including the vocalist of a black metal band called Leviathan, played by actor Torsten Voges in another over the top/ overacting scene, however since a good many of the real black metal band members I’ve seen actually act similarly, we’ll give Rob a pass on this one.  It’s unclear if he knows there’s a pretty well established black metal band called Leviathan out already), and one night author Francis Matthias, who has written a book about witches and black magic and Salem’s history, appears on the show.   It just so happens that on that same night, they decide to play a record on the air that Heidi received in the mail from a mysterious band named The Lords, which causes a bunch of the women in Salem who hear it to go into a trance, and Heidi to begin having visions and nightmares and eventually wig out.  This leads to her meeting her landlady’s two sisters (played by Dee Wallace and Rocky Horror‘s Patricia Quinn, who both seem to have a lot of fun with their rolls) and a confrontation with the ultimate evil.  Or something.

WTF?!

WTF?!

Now don’t get me wrong- just because I said it was better than most of Zombie’s other output, don’t think that means it’s not a rip-roaring bunch of goofy nonsense, mumbo jumbo and silly claptrap (it may actually have MORE of that than some of his other movies), however the likable and believable characters, great acting (minus a few above mentioned overacting bits), and in particular the overall atmosphere and feeling of darkness and dread save it.  I am a sucker for a good atmosphere- even if a movie isn’t that great, if the director can build and sustain a nice atmosphere of whatever feel they are trying to convey, it goes a long way with me.  The music is really ominous in this too (done by Zombie guitarist John 5), but not in a cheesy way.  I like it..  So, even with the nattering witches, mutant bear from Prophecy looking devil, fairly predictable story, surprising lack of gore, jump-cut nonsense, and at least one laughable scene where I’m not sure exactly what’s going on (but it looks like Heidi might be playing a video game with a really bad looking (see above pic) overcooked Ginger Bread Man devil’s tentacles or something), the goofiness doesn’t cave in on itself halfway through it all and bring the whole thing crashing down like most of his other movies.  Bravo.

As I said, he didn't cut out ALL the goofy shit...

As I said, he didn’t cut out ALL the goofy shit…

A bunch of scenes (including ones with a lot of Zombie’s signature horror movie personality cameos, such as Sid Haig, Camille Keaton, Barbara Cramptom, Udo Kier, Michael Berryman, and Richard Lynch (who died during the filming, which is one reason Zombie had to cut out several unfinished scenes he was in)) were cut out, which probably improved the movie.  I do think I recognized DR. KNOW singer Brandon Cruz in a small role, tho.

In order to prepare for this movie, you should get in the mood by watching one (or more) of these:

Mark of the Devil (1970):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAHGq-6d9aE

Susperia (1977):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MecSlkWMHPY

Rosemary’s Baby (1968):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otPyEsObI1M

The Devils (1971):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPConeKY3WA

The Holy Mountain (1973):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHiA3w6Y3KA

Plus maybe The Shining, The Exorcist, The Conqueror Worm, and The Omen (not the remake).

Have a devil film festival!  You’ll be glad you did…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq4zbZ3ULaU

The Evil Dead remake

I'll swallow yer soul!

I’ll swallow yer soul!

 

Howareya?

Howareya?

 

Should you bother?  The short answer: No.

The Evil Dead remake is not a bad movie, or even a bad horror movie (and by that I mean if you have never seen a horror movie before you might like it ok.  It might even thrill you).  It’s just tedious and  unnecessary.  If you’re even mildly familiar with horror movies, this one will have you rolling your eyes at several points, as every single horror movie cliche is trotted out en mass.  There’s not really a single original, clever, or interesting moment to be had.  The nods to the original just make you want to watch it again, and the blood and guts, tho plentiful and well done, are nothing you haven’t seen before.  It’s really too bad.

I’ve seen about half of the horror movie remakes that Hollywood has been churning out since the Night of the Living Dead one (way back in ’91).  Some of them are horrendously bad (Black Christmas), some are ok (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, The Omen), but most are just blah, and all have been uninspired and unnecessary (well, except John Carpenter’s The Thing, of course).

So why waste my time going and seeing this one?  I haven’t gone and seen hardly any of the others in a long time.
Really there was only one reason: the heavy involvement of Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, and Rob Tapert.  I love all 3 of the other ones (I’ve probably watched Evil Dead 2 more than any other movie ever made), and I was hoping it might be inspired and clever.  I was hoping it would turn out to be a prequel or something, maybe add something to the existing trilogy.  Elevate the experience.  But it did not.  It’s just another bland possession movie and remake in a sea of remakes and possession movies (tho I must say, I haven’t seen Haunting In Connecticut, The Last Exorcism, Sinister, Possession, The Devil Inside, Insidious, etc, but I’ll bet the Evil Dead remake has more balls than any of those PG-13 ones that are coming out in droves, needing to be shot in the head like mindless zombies)- that’s about the only thing that sets it apart from the pack  The high amount of gore.  But it takes more than that- we need style, intelligence, cleverness, originality, or at least some chaos and over the top zaniness).

So go see it if you must, but be warned: if you typed “generic horror movie script” into a computer, it would probably come up with this very movie.

Oh, and if you want a final eye rolling moment, wait until after the credits for a small condescent for fans of the original.

This isn’t happening… It’s only a dream…

No.  It’s not…

You aren’t dreaming- Phantasm II is finally being released in a proper collector’s edition with all the trimmings.  The gory, delicious trimmings.

This was always one of my fav horror movies- I liked it even better than the first one.  The Phantasm movies were always small part art house mindfuckery and big part horror movie with extra creep factor thrown in, but this one went over the top with it’s awesome practical gore effects and insane atmosphere.  As a matter of fact, the movie is mostly atmosphere- the acting is passable and the storyline is interesting but goofy and confusing in places, so you just have to kick back and let it happen; observe the insanity and  the script will just keep throwing cool things into the mix.  It’s like the movie Rob Zombie would make if he wasn’t so hung up on producing 2 hour rock videos with no soul.

The story is about the kid (Mike, now played by James LeGros (Drugstore Cowboy, Bitter Feast)) from the first movie getting back together with his brother to follow the Tall Man’s (Angus Scrimm) calvacade of carnage through towns he’s destroyed and catch up with him, to hopefully stop him.  

It features a Audio Commentary with director/writer Don Coscarelli and actors Angus Scrimm and Reggie Banister; “The Ball is Back!” Documentary (which has new interviews with director and primary cast members; several behind the scenes footage featurettes; trailers; still gallerys; alternate takes and deleted scenes; a 4 barrel shotgun, acid embalming, head drilling, a chainsaw that would make Leatherface blush, and of course the famous flying silver spheres with drills and blades and other tools of carnage popping out of them.
And, just to sweeten the deal even more, a rare short film starring Rory Guy (aka Angus Scrimm) as Abraham Lincoln.

It comes out 3/26/13 on dvd and Blu Ray from the awesome Scream Factory.

I haven’t seen Don Coscarelli’s new movie Jon Dies At the End yet, but I hear it’s killer.  Looking forward to it as well…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo9eNwFsN-c